idiots from one town over

today is the first in a new series i'll be including here in the journal. allow me to explain:

this new job of mine comes with some really excellent benefits. no, i'm not talking about a great HMO or a splendid spouse package...i'm talking about st. johns county police reports, which i have access to as a member of the media. it's also my job to browse these reports daily, publishing those of merit in our weekly paper.

i have decided it is my public duty to share some of the more off-kilter reports with those of you who may never get to read our little paper. so without further ado...

Today's Idiot: Angela Lansbury (I can't release actual names to the public, so I will instead substitue real names with those of celebrities)
On 03.14.08 I was dispatched to *address* where I met Angela Lansbury who stated that sometime between 9:00pm on 03.13.08 and 6:00pm on 03.14.08, an unknown subject entered her vehicle and changed the time on her vehicle's clock radio. She then stated no items were missing from the vehicle. When asked if she changed her clock the previous week for Daylight Savings Time, she said no.

so there you have it...a local woman calls the police because someone supposedly broke into her car, and changed the time on the dashboard clock. what an idiot.


kristy said...

um. are we talking about THE angela lansbury? my favorite woman in the world? hmmmm? bedknobs and broomsticks!

mac said...

i just used her name in place of the real lady's name. i can't release the real name to the public, so i just substituted it with the first celebrity that came to mind....which happened to be angela lansbury...which is scary.

Justin said...

Oh my gosh I love Angela Lansbury! Murder She Wrote?! Did you get to meet her?!

Erin said...


Anonymous said...

poor woman!
did the police report
also mention how
oollddd this lady was?!
give her a break.
i never change my clocks either,
and it still takes me a while to
register that my car radio/clock
is the correct time, and not an hour ahead.
don't be such a meany mac.

mac said...


even if she was confused as to why it was displaying the incorrect time...who thinks that calling the cops make any sense at all? what did she honestly expect them to do? I'm not even sure what 'they' did was illegal. the 'suspect' didn't even break into her car...they just opened the door.

you know...those clock buttons on the dash that you use to change the time are hard to push sometimes...especially for old people. i'm pretty sure someone did her a favor here. what is the world coming to when old people call the cops because someone decided that it was'be kind to a senior' week...?

ok...whew. i'm finished.